Prom

So because I'm a completely nonconforming individual, I'm really into Glee. And of course tonight's episode got me thinking about prom, which is never a good thing. My prom is sort of freakishly similar to Mercedes's prom. Our dresses were very much a like: SEE ABOVE. Pink. Beaded. Pickups. Cheap.,as was our situations. I did not want to go to prom. I didn't like to dance. I didn't have a lot of friends, and I didn't have a date. (Like Sam, I didn't have money either.)I especially didn't want to go because my best friend had an obnoxious boyfriend and after homecoming I decided that I was definitely not going to prom with them. Then they broke up. But I still wasn't going to prom. My friend, however, decided that she needed some male attention and we were hanging out with this boy who started talking about prom. He said we should hang out there and stuff. I told him I probably wouldn't go, but we'd hang out if I did. Somehow, all my Rachel's fault, he decided that we had both agreed to be his dates. He then insisted that we all ride in a limo. (I hate limos.) I don't remember, but I guess that I agreed to all of this somehow. But John Groff gets all jealous and asks my Rachel out to prom like a week or two before prom. So she just adds him into our group. This doesn't matter to me too much because I don't want to go to prom, so none of it matters. Then we go to prom. Our Sam spends the night telling me how much he loves Rachel. John wanders off all of the time and Rachel whines. Then I dance by myself a lot until John convinces the guy that I like to pity dance with me. I have now developed a sort of twitch every time I think about prom because it was a pity dance and I was humiliated. He didn't like me back, which was fine. I just don't want to dance with someone who doesn't want to dance with me. It was horrible. So Mercedes and I had the same prom, but hers was cute and mine was humiliating and irritating. I wish I could do it all over again. I would go. Alone. And I would dance like crazy. I love dancing now and I'd love to go dancing somewhere that's not a sleezy club. So now I really feel like going to a prom. I hate prom.

I'm too old for an Identity Crisis.

So in college I've adopted an I-don't-give-a-damn kind of philosophy. I'll try anything, always with no expectations, and make the best of it. The problem with this is that it goes against everything I've always been. I tend to be modest, shy, reserved, and conservative. I've always been, and still am, completely okay with this. However, everyday those words describe me a little less than the day before. I tire of doing things that I say I never will. I got twitter, and it's awesome. I went to a club, and had one of the best nights of my life. I drank at a party, and it was fine. I don't think any of these things are wrong. They just weren't for me. I spend a lot of time on introspection and I know a lot about myself. So it's weird to say things I've always said about myself and have them suddenly feel wrong. I didn't like my life before this, but I liked who I was. Now my life is better, but I don't understand myself at all. I've found myself in a very moderate position. Like I don't really tweet much, I went to a club once, and I drank kind of a lot, but I was never really drunk. I'm no longer any kind of an extreme. It's a good way to be, but it makes it hard to define yourself. I guess I'll figure it out. Everything in moderation right. It really has made me happy.
A bigger issue that I'm having is that I can't really be bothered with other people's problems anymore. One of the things I loved most about myself was that I could listen to anybody talk about anything for hours on end and maintain at least mild interest. I've listened patiently to the most circular arguments and stupid pointless problems while offering solid advice. But I just can't do it anymore. People have always been ignoring me. I get talked over and ignored every time I open my mouth. It's what has made me such a good listener. I know how valuable it is to have someone to talk to. I could always just kind of suck it up, but now I can't. I listen, and I help, and I care and then I try to share a little about myself. I ask people to listen and they refuse even though I've let them pour all of their problems all over me. I spend so much time drowning in my and everyone else's problems and I just can't hold it all in anymore, but no one cares. I can't just listen to people because I expect something back. It's not fair to say okay I'll care about you, but only if you do something for me. That's not caring. You can't attach strings to these situations. But if someone does listen to me I think "Wow, I owe him/her one. I hope they know that they can come to me for anything." If you can trust me with everything you hold dear, why can't you care about me. More importantly, how is that no one cares. Every friend I've ever had has dumped all of their issues on me and then never bothered to pick up their phone when I call, has never had anything to say about my problems, or the ability to listen to them. It would be okay if it wasn't everybody ever.

Stolen Furniture: Boys Can't Count

So I live in a dorm, on a floor that is divided into a boys' pod and a girls' pod. Each pod has a common room. There are 2 couches, 2 tables, and various chairs and endtables in each pod. At least, there were at the beginning of the term. Slowly over the past few months the girls' pod has been losing furniture. A chair here, a table there. About 2 weeks ago we lost a couch. This was kind of okay because the girls don't really go out into the pod at all. It's a dead zone. The boys, however, are always in their's. It was annoying but okay. But, about a week ago we lost the other couch and a lot of chairs. For some reason I could not let this go. I complained incessantly. I was rallying my suitemates to go steal it back. But, I am definitely all talk. I'm an idea person. I do not make things happen.
So today I came back from class and said to my roommate and her friend, "I wouldn't mind all of the missing furniture if we just filled the common room with bean bag chairs". Because I can't go for more than like 5 minutes without complaining about this. Then her friend said we should go steal some chairs because she was bored. To which, I of course said no. We argued. They left to go do it. After about 25 seconds I realized that this was all my idea and I could not let it go down without me. So I ran after them. We snuck in, grabbed some chairs and stood there. Then, we hear voices. So I bolted with the chair and they ran after me. I was done after that. They said we should get couches. I said no. They went. Then we knocked on my suitemates door and they decided to help, so it just kind of snowballed from there. We took 4 couches, 4 tables, and a bunch of chairs.
The boys were slightly outraged. We sat in the pod for hours coloring and every now and then a new group would come in and rant. But they all said, "Well where is the rest of the furniture?". And we were like what are you talking about. They proceeded to insist that they've had 4 couches all year. They could not believe that they didn't. They thought we'd just misplaced all of our furniture. This happened many times. It was the same conversation over and over again, but I have video proof that we had 2 couches. I did a tour of our common room before this happened and made it a youtube video. RIGHT HERE. In the end, they just brought over their TV and XBOX and played FIFA all night. And we colored and hung out with them and it's been a lot of fun for everyone. So...SUCCESS. They took a couch and a chair back, but that's okay.

WIMEN

Have you ever noticed that we pronounce woman like wOman, but women like wImen? It's supposed to be the vowel at the end that's changed, not the one at the beginning.

Birthday Week

Just no.

So lots of times in college you get these things called roommates. I feel very ambivalently(a word I like using but have been using wrong. I used it as having no feeling whatsoever, but it means a love/hate sort of feeling.)toward mine. Most of the time I guess I'm on the hate end of the spectrum, but not in an "Oh my gosh, she needs to leave kind of way". She drives me insane because she is LAZY!! and the opposite of smart. I really value intelligent people so, in my world, stupid is a crime.

The other day I turned on the TV and Becoming Jane was just starting. And I say: "Oh, I love this movie!" and she says: "Is it an old movie," to which I reply "No, it's with Anne Hathaway. It's about Jane Austen." And then she says..."Who is Jane Austen". I spent the rest of the day just walking around bewildered.

Recently she took to almost killing us numeous times on the highway. She was just talking to her friend, fixing her wig, texting, and other perfectly acceptable things like that. She was speeding. The car did whatever you would call hydroplaning if there was no water, so it planed then(more than once). I will not get in her car again. I don't need groceries or anything that badly.

On to the lazy, she often goes to sleep around 2:30 in the morning and wakes up between 5 and 7 at night. Her obnoxiously loud phone goes off continually the whole day, but she ignores it. She doesn't clean or shower much.

Then there's the "injuries". She joined a sports team but never really goes because of things like scraped knees or a sore back. She gets minor injuries all of the time and just talks about them like she's dying. She tried to call the school's emergency hotline in the middle of the night because she had a bad scrape on her knee that she got at 11am that day.

But, she's really not that bad. She means well. She's just rude, not-so-bright, and spoiled. She always tries to be nice to me, so I really can't hate her; and I don't. I'm easy to annoy to. You'd never know because my insides aren't connected to my outsides. Inside I'm depressed, annoyed, furious, and cynical; but on the outside I can't stop myself from being helpful, cheery, and calm. I don't mind though. I don't think other people should have to pay for my bad moods, and I like my privacy.

So because she's not really being mean, I've taken to dealing with her by finding little ways to annoy her like she annoys me. I leave my phone volume all the way up and text a lot. I threw away our recycling box without consulting her(it was a nuisance). I turn lights and the TV on and off when she's sleeping. I talk really loudly on the phone. Just anything. If she does it, then I do too. I really hate being in people's way and being rude, so none of these things would usually be happening. It makes me feel better. It's a fun way to let of steam. Just go see how annoying you can be. So far, she really doesn't seem to have noticed.

P.S. Her birthday is Wednesday so she calls this her birthday week. I'm sorry, but it is called a birthDAY. You can't claim a whole week. She's been talking about it since August. She's going to be devastated if the entire world is not celebrating all of this week.

My Government Textbook on Twitter

I'd really like to just type up this whole article. I don't use Twitter but I think it makes sense. However, typing it up is definitely copyright infringement, so here's basically what it says:

People's perception is that Twitter is a vain waste of time equivalent to reading a trashy magazine or gossiping on the phone. It's one of the 50 most popular websites in the world, but it has no real value.

The reality is that Twitter is an important medium for news and politics. News stories are often reported on Twitter first and then picked up by the media. Twitter is also useful in measuring public opinion. The book cites James Buck as an example. He was arrested in Egypt, but was able to send updates on his condition to Twitter and was subsequently released the next day. It also notes that updates on terrorist attacks in India came from eyewitnesses tweeting, and that Twitter was the one of the only forms of communication available to Iranian protestors when their government shut down most internet outlets.

I don't have twitter because I think it is a bit vain, and I just really don't want another account to maintain; but I think it definitely has value.

Living in Florida

The only people who are really okay with living in Florida were born here and don't know any better. Most of us weren't born here. We introduce ourselves by giving people our names and asking them where they're from. Then we complain and lament the fact that we ever moved here. It's just not a happy place. The sun and the heat are unbearable. People in Florida don't actually go outside. That's all a facade. We hide in our houses wearing hoodies with our central air on 74 degrees. I bet you any given person in Florida has more hoodies than anyone in like Michigan. You literally can't see when you walk outside and you immediately lose your energy. The heat just drains you. But it does happen to get pretty cold in winter. We hit 30 and 40 degrees too. It just bounces around a lot and never actually gets cold enough to snow, which is heartwrenching. Holidays are ugly. Decorations are tacky, but most people just don't bother. The sky and everything else turns a miserable dingy gray, but it never snows. You also can't walk outside barefoot in Florida. The grass is dead and dry, but mostly it's sand spurs. They're these little spiky balls that cover almost every bit of land and will embed themselves in your skin. It's miserable.

Don't fool yourself into belieing that if you visit Florida you'll go to Disney World all of the time or live at the beach. The beach is an overcrowded mess. But if you're willing to drive for it you can find a good one. No one ever goes to Disney or Universal unless it's for school trips. You at least won't go more than you did when you had to fly here. Everyone admits that they never really go. You could go at any time, so you just never do.

The school system down here is abysmal. No one knows anything. We're way behind other states. The job market is a mess. Florida has one of the highest unemployment rates and is a right-to-work state. I don't know exactly what a right-to-work state is, but it sure gives my dad hell. He's been working at the same company for 5 years and has never gotten raise, but sure has been put in charge of an entire warehouse. Government aid for college is quite good though. That's why I'm still here.

Housing in Florida is also..suckish. The houses here are mostly small; one-story; flourescent pink, yellow, green, purple, etc.; and expensive. It tooks us months to get used to it. They're so tiny and sooooo expensive! No basements, no attics. They're just plain ugly. Even the 2-story houses look ridiculus. Walk-in closets also don't really exist down here.

Anyways, I'm sure there's more, but this is already long and rambling. Just don't.