Twilight is fine.

I’m starting to hate people who hate Twilight infinitely more than I hate people who love it. I never have to hear about how sexy Edward Cullen is or how much someone wants to be Bella Swan anymore. Almost every day though, I do have hear that “Twilight sucks!” or “Vampires are gay”. I’m so sick and tired of being in literature classes and having pointless “discussions” about Twilight. If someone doesn’t know what to say whenever people are talking about books at all, they just say that Twilight is stupid. Then, everyone agrees, but no one says anything that is at all worth my time. There is more to literature than Twilight and Harry Potter. Go read something—ANYTHING—else.

I understand that it was obnoxious to have Twilight extolled as if it were Shakespeare’s finest work when it got popular, because it’s nothing of the sort. It sucks to have it shoved in your face all the time, but now you’ve become the obnoxious pain in the ass. If you’re going to criticize it, then at least come up with a thoughtful argument. This subject has been beaten to dust. Say something new or shut up.

There are plenty of books that are just as good/bad as Twilight. There are thousands that are much better and thousands that are much worse. MOVE ON. You don’t need to be either ashamed or proud of liking Twilight. Do what you want and, at least in university literature and writing courses, TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.

EDIT: See this video by youtube.com/jsutkissmyfrog
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJdJV3yeHFY

Prom

So because I'm a completely nonconforming individual, I'm really into Glee. And of course tonight's episode got me thinking about prom, which is never a good thing. My prom is sort of freakishly similar to Mercedes's prom. Our dresses were very much a like: SEE ABOVE. Pink. Beaded. Pickups. Cheap.,as was our situations. I did not want to go to prom. I didn't like to dance. I didn't have a lot of friends, and I didn't have a date. (Like Sam, I didn't have money either.)I especially didn't want to go because my best friend had an obnoxious boyfriend and after homecoming I decided that I was definitely not going to prom with them. Then they broke up. But I still wasn't going to prom. My friend, however, decided that she needed some male attention and we were hanging out with this boy who started talking about prom. He said we should hang out there and stuff. I told him I probably wouldn't go, but we'd hang out if I did. Somehow, all my Rachel's fault, he decided that we had both agreed to be his dates. He then insisted that we all ride in a limo. (I hate limos.) I don't remember, but I guess that I agreed to all of this somehow. But John Groff gets all jealous and asks my Rachel out to prom like a week or two before prom. So she just adds him into our group. This doesn't matter to me too much because I don't want to go to prom, so none of it matters. Then we go to prom. Our Sam spends the night telling me how much he loves Rachel. John wanders off all of the time and Rachel whines. Then I dance by myself a lot until John convinces the guy that I like to pity dance with me. I have now developed a sort of twitch every time I think about prom because it was a pity dance and I was humiliated. He didn't like me back, which was fine. I just don't want to dance with someone who doesn't want to dance with me. It was horrible. So Mercedes and I had the same prom, but hers was cute and mine was humiliating and irritating. I wish I could do it all over again. I would go. Alone. And I would dance like crazy. I love dancing now and I'd love to go dancing somewhere that's not a sleezy club. So now I really feel like going to a prom. I hate prom.

I'm too old for an Identity Crisis.

So in college I've adopted an I-don't-give-a-damn kind of philosophy. I'll try anything, always with no expectations, and make the best of it. The problem with this is that it goes against everything I've always been. I tend to be modest, shy, reserved, and conservative. I've always been, and still am, completely okay with this. However, everyday those words describe me a little less than the day before. I tire of doing things that I say I never will. I got twitter, and it's awesome. I went to a club, and had one of the best nights of my life. I drank at a party, and it was fine. I don't think any of these things are wrong. They just weren't for me. I spend a lot of time on introspection and I know a lot about myself. So it's weird to say things I've always said about myself and have them suddenly feel wrong. I didn't like my life before this, but I liked who I was. Now my life is better, but I don't understand myself at all. I've found myself in a very moderate position. Like I don't really tweet much, I went to a club once, and I drank kind of a lot, but I was never really drunk. I'm no longer any kind of an extreme. It's a good way to be, but it makes it hard to define yourself. I guess I'll figure it out. Everything in moderation right. It really has made me happy.
A bigger issue that I'm having is that I can't really be bothered with other people's problems anymore. One of the things I loved most about myself was that I could listen to anybody talk about anything for hours on end and maintain at least mild interest. I've listened patiently to the most circular arguments and stupid pointless problems while offering solid advice. But I just can't do it anymore. People have always been ignoring me. I get talked over and ignored every time I open my mouth. It's what has made me such a good listener. I know how valuable it is to have someone to talk to. I could always just kind of suck it up, but now I can't. I listen, and I help, and I care and then I try to share a little about myself. I ask people to listen and they refuse even though I've let them pour all of their problems all over me. I spend so much time drowning in my and everyone else's problems and I just can't hold it all in anymore, but no one cares. I can't just listen to people because I expect something back. It's not fair to say okay I'll care about you, but only if you do something for me. That's not caring. You can't attach strings to these situations. But if someone does listen to me I think "Wow, I owe him/her one. I hope they know that they can come to me for anything." If you can trust me with everything you hold dear, why can't you care about me. More importantly, how is that no one cares. Every friend I've ever had has dumped all of their issues on me and then never bothered to pick up their phone when I call, has never had anything to say about my problems, or the ability to listen to them. It would be okay if it wasn't everybody ever.